Baby FEVER!!

I'm not talking about a baby having a fever, but rather the unscratchable itch (for me that is) to have another baby.  That train has left the station, and is NOT returning.  My age being factor #1 along with the fact that two is already more than we can really handle.  I've joked a lot over the last eleven months that having one child is like being a national guardsman and having two is like being a navy seal...both very respectable jobs, but there are things that a navy seal sees that a national guardsman is NEVER going to see.

But here as I'm planning by daughter's First Birthday, friends all around me near and far are having or expecting babies and I want another one....shhhh don't tell my husband.  It's asinine.  If everyone was joining a cult, would I want to as well, absolutely not.  So how did I get bit by the baby bug??  Our life works with the four of us...right sized cars, right sized house, one to one ratio...which makes sense with travel, errands and down the road extracurricular activities.  Heck, roller coasters even...no one has to sit alone.  But I'm left to wonder.  What would three babies have looked like?  Have I already forgotten the uncomfortableless of being pregnant for nine months?  It hasn't even been a year, yet I have ONLY super happy memories of that time.  Come on brain, remember the nausea, back pain, heartburn and overall discomfort.   It's not like labor, C-sections and breastfeeding were a walk in the park either.  But all I can think about is those sweet little babies.  That baby smell, their little cries, mini everything.   Why does this happen??? I know that I can't be alone in these feelings.  If I had started younger, had more money than Oprah and a willing partner, would I have had six???  Who knows! I adore the two I've got and I'm beyond grateful.

But if I'm being honest, getting out the door with two on a daily basis is a miracle in of itself.  We'll be lucky if we can successfully help them with college and still manage to retire before 70.  And I haven't even factored in extra vehicles, sports, proms or weddings.  So why am I torturing myself with the would've, could've, should've's???

Maybe I should have kept a journal of pregnancy and childbirth in real time. Because let me tell you "pregnancy brain" in no joke!!  I'm surprised that science, government and the pharmaceutical industry hasn't tapped into duplicating whatever hormone combination it is that causes one to suppress anything negative or painful and you're only be able to remember happy, happy, joy, joy.   Nature is AMAZING.  I don't like to take medicine and I'm not one to self medicate *wine doesn't count* but if they came up with a *safe* "preggo brain pill" I'd be inclined to try it. 

Think about it....you have a terrible week at work...pop a "preggo brain pill"...and you only remember that yummy lunch on Wednesday and the client who told you that you're awesome.  Bad travel experience with the family...no problem "preggo brain pill" will take care of that...you got from point A to point B and back to A again successfully...that's all you need to remember.  A terrible stomach bug runs rampant through your home..."preggo brain pill" to the rescue.  All you see is that every linen in your home has been freshly laundered and the scale is telling you that you're ten pounds lighter, yet you can't remember the last time you went to the gym.  Lovely.

*Sigh* I guess I'll just have to love on friends and family's squishy babies. Or go to WalMart on a Saturday.  That always seemed to help me back when my maternal gravity pull was tugging on me hard before I had kids....20 minutes in a busy WalMart....and I was good as new. All better.  No baby, no problem. Just get me the hell out of there.