That's two nights SLEEP Santa, not two front TEETH...please hear me clearly....it's not a typical request...but it is mine! With all this "Christmas in July" business, it's got me thinking about the holiday. And all I truly want is to sleep, uninterrupted for two nights in a row....hell...one uninterrupted night of rest would do the trick! Pretty sad that I've been wanting to write about this for weeks, but am too exhausted to put my fingers to the keyboard.
I know that I'm not alone.
Every parent has been sleep deprived from time to time. It's
a phase, and this too shall pass. But we have been in a BAD
sleep cycle for MONTHS. What I wouldn't give to sleep for more
than 2-3 hours at a time. I'm in a dance with my kids that consumes me
from 8 PM until 6 AM....first the fight to go to sleep. Never, in my life
have I meet a better negotiator or staller than my 4 year old. One
more book....more water....I need a Band-Aid....I need to pee....really????
I've never seen someone suck down so much fluid as to move the potty meter
like this kid. And I'm the sucker that falls for all of it...one more
book...absolutely...I want to promote literacy after all!! More
water....of course...it's summer and we should stay hydrated. You have to
pee and it's not a fight....let's go! *Sigh* An hour later we're both fast
asleep, I make my escape. My husband has had the baby down for at least
30 minutes prior and thus beings my "me time". Where to
start???? Clean the house....nah.....catch up on email and social media....such
a time suck.....folding laundry while watching my shows....ehh....I should go
do some sit-ups and push-ups.....Maybe read....I haven't done that in 4
years...argh!! I've spent an hour frozen dabbling in everything and
accomplishing nothing and now the baby is awake.
I get her
back down and call it a night myself...at this point it's 10:30 PM.
Around 1 AM my little teether *who's currently cutting 6 theeth
at once* is back awake....this poor kid....if she's not teething,
she's been sick. A bottle and diaper change for my
sweet girl and we're back to sleep by 1:30 AM....now I'm kicking myself
for waiting until after 11 to fall asleep the first time.
But it's ok. It's only 1:30....I can still get 5 good
hours. And I had that nap from 8:30 until 9:00 PM...remember??? 3:00
AM....the loudest whisper yell is in my ear "Moooooooommmmy, mommy,
mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!!" Oh for crying out loud....little mister
is hovering over me....it's feels like I just fell back asleep. Maybe it
was a bad dream....unable to locate his favorite "blue
blanket" in the dark....the need to potty from drinking
a gallon of water before bed....hard to say...but he's up
and needing some minor assistance to go back to
sleep. Done....I crawl back into bed. I still have 3
hours before I have to get up. It's okay....I try to
convince myself. Then I think for a second that I should just get up
and do the "me time" stuff I wanted to do at 9:00 PM...no that's
dumb...sleep....I need my sleep!!! I'm officially losing it
thinking that I should wake up at 3:30 AM to scrub
toilets...fold laundry....return some emails...watch Dateline....and do
some sit-ups!!
My dreams/hallucinations teeter between
being startled awake thinking I'm being called in a whisper
scream or I hear "something" on the baby
monitor. OR....and this is my preferred end of the
spectrum....my bed...fresh sheets....lightly scented....a
dark room that is completely silent, with only a gentle breeze
moving in the trees, washing over my body, keeping me at the perfect
temperature for blissful rest.....I drift off reading and
only awaken by the warmth of the sun on my face and birds chirping.
Nirvana. I'm sure some day...but not anytime soon. And that's okay....I love that my littles need and want me and that's what keeps me going....but dammit....I do miss the 8 hours of sleep that used to be my norm!
I implore you, if
you have managed to solidly sleep for 6 hours straight, at least
once this week. Be thankful. And when I crack....because I
will, if this cycle doesn't stop soon, please come visit me
at the hospital. But not at night.
